1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones'
2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire
3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock
4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave
5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict
6. Kicked in head by bantha
7. To impress the babes
8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name
9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge over the River Kwai"
10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan
11. The Dark Side has cookies